For mother's day I tell the story of how the hero Perseus saved princess Andromeda from the wrath of the gods (which is also a sweet cheat code in Age of Mythology) because her mother wouldn't keep her mouth shut. Anyway lets get ready for exposition!
Whoa we are getting ahead ourselves picture (that happens way later)
Our tale begins in the kingdom of Ethiopia where King Cepheus reigned with no fear of nuclear annihilation by Lordkat as the residents of the region would find out many millennia into the future. The atomic destruction of Ethiopia by Shadow President Lordkat is not the story I'm talking about and I will just leave that story for a different series, "Crazy Ass Stuff Jason Pullara does in his free time". Anyway back to Greek Mythology. King Cepheus had a wife named Cassiopeia and she was the arrogant type of women, always saying how great her kids were than everyone else, basically she was a bitch. Well she crossed the line when she claimed that her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than all the Nereids (daughters of Nereus and followers of Poseidon) and this pissed Poseidon off.
I think Arnold put it best, "You are one ugly motherfucker"
Poseidon in punishment for Cassiopeia's vain boast sent a gigantic sea monster none by the name Cetus (where we get the term Cetacean {Google it}) that ravaged the seaways and harbors of Cepheus' kingdom. (yes because all the citizens of a nation must suffer because of their queen's bragging). The king thus consulted a oracle of Apollo (big shocker there) and the seer told him that he would have to sacrifice his daughter to Cetus in order to pacify Poseidon. So with a heavy heart King Cepheus did as the Oracle said and had his daughter chained to a rock in the bay. (and naked also, maybe Cetus did not want the cloths to get in the way)
Wow! You into bondage also? Sweet!
Meanwhile, the hero Perseus was flying in the sky with the magic winged sandals of Hermes having recently killed the evil gorgon Medusa. As he was making his way back home he saw the chained up maiden about to get eaten by a sea beast. He put on the helm of invisibility that was used by Hades to defeat titans and giants to sneak up behind the monster. He then was able to slay the mighty Cetus, freed Andromeda of her bonds, and returned her to her family.
That's right, I'm awesome
Perseus would then marry her despite that Andromeda was going to be married off to her uncle Phineus. During their wedding there was a fight and in the end Phineus was turned into stone by looking into the eyes of the decapitated gorgon. The couple would move to Argos and would create the family dynasty Perseidae and would live happily ever after. (Wow a hero that lived a nice and long life, of course this is the one of the only heroes to get this ending) Anyway that's the story of Andromeda, Cepheus, Cassiopeia, Cetus, and Perseus (who all became constellations when they died). Perhaps next week I should talk about the story of how Perseus killed Medusa or maybe I should I tell you guys a story involving Harpies.
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