I have decided that this will be the last blog to carry to the Douchebag moments, but fret not, I will still write about Greek Mythology, but instead of just douchebag moments, I will do any moments that interest me. So for today's edition of DMOGM, I look at Theseus once again and how doomed his son.
When we last met our intrepid hero he heroically abandoned the woman who helped him defeat the Minotaur.
Wow, wait till Theseus sees this when he comes back with that water
After Theseus returns to Athens and becomes king (after his father Aegeus committed suicide after Theseus forgot to cast the white sails to signify that he had survived) he married the Amazonian queen Antiope (or Hippolyta, but does it really matter?) and they had a son named Hippolytus. But Antiope was slain and Theseus married another woman, her name was Phaedra.
I have the sudden urge to have sex with my step-son
Now this blog may seem to be pointed towards Theseus, but there is still another douchebag in this tale. You see Hippolytus dedicated his life to goddess Artemis, which meant he would have to be a virgin for the rest of his life. This made the whore goddess Aphrodite angry and she cursed Phaedra to become deeply passionate with her stepson. When she tried to make advances to her stepson, Hippolytus rejected her, thus causing Phaedra to hang herself, but not before writing that Hippolytus had raped her.
Well this could have gone better
When Theseus got wind of this he called his divine father and requested his third wish (I guess Poseidon was also a genie) and that wish was to curse his son. Poseidon obeyed his son's request and conjured up a sea monster that frightened the horses of Hippolytus and caused him to be dragged to death. Now for the kicker, Artemis came to Theseus and told him the truth about the incident and that he basically murdered his own innocent son. (Maybe you should have came before Theseus cursed your loyal follower Artemis). Anyway I hope you enjoyed this little story and I hope you enjoy my reformatted blogs for next week, I'll give you this clue about the next blog, it is truly a WTF moment in Greek Mythology and it will leave you with this face.